The Decemberists - The Hazards of Love

For the past however many years they have been together, Detroit's own Decemberists have been writing gay little folk songs about stupid Mary Poppins shit like chimney sweeps and how chief singer and songwriter, Jeff Magnum, wanted to be a Broadway actress ever since he was a little girl. Well no more.

The Hazards of Love is by far the most badass thing they have ever done, which still might not sound very badass to you, but believe me, it is. It starts off with like 10 minutes of organ drone, which is awesome. It's like Magnum is saying "FUCK YOU AUDIENCE, I DON'T NEED YOU. I'M GONNA MAKE MY METAL ALBUM AND YOU CAN'T DO SHIT."

Oh, did I mention that this is a metal album? I read on a top secret cool guy website that the actual genre is "stoner metal" but subgenres are for nerds, so we'll just call it metal.

And not only is the album metal, but it is also a concept album. A concept metal album. Fuck yeah. And the story itself is fucking badass too. It's, like, about a deer man who kills all his kids, kidnaps a fine ass bitch, rapes her, and drowns her or something. It's awesome.

However, there are some moments of pussitude. For example, when singer Magnum name drops the name of the chick from a Japanese animation called Snoradora.

"And so our heroine withdraws to the Taiga" - Jeff Magnum

But I guess it's alright since from the first 10 Decemberists albums we had already concluded that Magnum was a gigantic nerd anyway.

Score:
10/10