Green Day - 21st Century Breakdown

Now I know what you're all thinking right now. "Cameron, I thought you were a cool guy with only the finest and hippest of tastes? Why would you review something as lame and unhip as Green Day?" Well shut up douchebag, I'm getting to that.

Green Day used to be good. Just kidding. They were always bad, just they used to have a couple good songs here and there and didn't take themselves as srsly. Now they think they are Jesus of Suburbia and all their songs have to have deep intellectual and conceptual meanings behind them. And that is pretty gay.

21st Century Breakdown is Green Day's 342nd album, though it is only their second in what I see as a long line of unlistenable and laughably srs albums about how the government is bad. It follows the story of two young lovers who-... you know what, I don't even know what it's about. Not that it matters since it's Green Day, so you know it's gonna be something stupid and preachy.

Unimportant story aside, the music bothers me. On many different levels. Like, pretty much every song I feel that I have heard before on the radio. In the late '90s, early '00s. 2000s. Two thousands.

Anyway, not only that, but every song fucking starts off the same. Billy Joel Armstrong singing a nice little melody over a piano or acoustic guitar or something, then the drums coming in all DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN and then fucking CUE THE POWERPOP PUNXK ROCK POWERCHORDS TO MAKE THE TEENAGE GIRLS WET. Which is a cool little trick I guess for a bit, but every single fucking song in the first half of the album starts off like that.

And the album is fucking long. Like, rap album long. Just unlike your average 70 minute long rap album, this is not fun or entertaining at all. Well I guess "Know Your Enemy" was supposed to be the cool, fun anthem of the album (it was the first single), but it's just annoying. Solid 3 minutes of the same obnoxious guitar riff, some whoa whoa whoas and Billy Joel's vocals reaching 98898989 on the shit scale. Thankfully though, the song is saved by one of the most interesting, melodic and complex guitar solos I have ever heard.

Overall, this album is one of the most mediocre I've ever heard. Green Day should go back to making songs about masturbating to pay-per-view porn. Or maybe that was another band. I don't give a fuck.

Score:
3.5/10