Hello! This is Cameron Clarke, posting his first cool guy review in like 3 months. "Why haven't you posted anything in so long?" Well, you see, I've been living in the woods like Bon Iver, eating only what I kill and wiping the shit off my ass with tree bark. I am back now though, so don't worry.
Vampire Weekend is an indie rock band or some shit I guess. This is their new album and for some reason they have Britney Spears on their album cover. This album doesn't sound anything like Britney Spears. Unfortunately (I say that because this shit is even gayer than Britney Spears).
The first song, "Horchata" is a song about drinking some shit called horchata. If that's anything like chai tea, these people are even gayer than I thought, but I'ma give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that horchata is really just a really obscure brand of rum or tequila or something, and the song is about doing shots of it with lots of cocaine.
"California English" is a pretty sweet song, but only because there's assloads of autotune. I bet if this dude sang without autotune it would sound like wet dicks.
Also, what's with this band and their "ooooooh"ing in the background? Who the fuck do they think they are? The Arcade Fire? Does Vampire Weekend think they're in Where the fucking Wild Things Are?
Another thing I do not like about this album is how some of the tracks start off mid-verse and end mid-chorus. Like "oh look at me I'm so avante garde" well fuck you, asshole, it's just shitty. Of course the rip I got off soulseek could just be fucked, but I'ma give soulseek the benefit of the doubt and assume that everything I get from it is perfect and any faults in the album can be blamed on the band.
Anyway, overall, this album is kind of shitty. I mean, yeah, cool, beepy boopy, shitty drums, blah, blah, I get it. I got it on the first album, which wasn't very good either. But hey, what do you expect from a band named after a Twilight book?
Final score:
4.3/10
i really really like you.
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