Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Rouge Wave - PETALIGHT


O-kay so the music CD I will be reviewing today is pretty interesting. And by interesting I mean thoroughly gaysexual and probably not worth your time unless you like phallic imagery and bitches falling off waterfalls or something.

Back in like 2004 I reviewed the band Owl Shitty befoer any body knew who they were so people knew they sucked. Well this band Rogue Light is a lot like Octagon Pussy because they take an ALREADY SHITTY BAND and make it gayer. The band I am refererering to is Death Crabs For Cutie. The vocalist from this band Rogue Wick (that's a dick joke) is probably the same vocalist from Death Panels just ripping himself off like a money grubbing asshole.

Now this is far from the worst or even most gayest CD I've reviewed for this website (you guys have put me through a lot of shit) but let me just say it's pretty bad. I mean any time a CD has a song on it named after the album or the album is named after the song or some bullshit like that the CD is automatically bad for several reasons. Number one it is just confusing to refer to this CD PERMALIT and also the song PERMALIT without people being like "Hey dude did you mean PERMALIT the CD or Permalit the song" to which the best response would be "FUCK IT LET'S PLAY SOME FOOTBALL" so maybe they could have called the CD something else like Unhetero Jams Vol. 2 or just GAY SHIT. The second reason is it's probably intentionally confusing because unheteros are generally confused themselves by the way sexuality works (you can't make a baby with two dicks fellas) so they want to confuse you too with their shitty music.

Luckily, there is one way you could easily counteract the clever trickery of these unsavory homosexuals.

DON'T BUY THEIR ALBUM.

Now you might say to yourself "But as a straight male, if I and a bunch of other straight males buy their music, maybe the band will SELL OUT and become STRAIGHT to appeal to us even more." But no dude you're fucking wrong. If you buy this CD in hopes of turning the band straight, they will use their nine volume catalog of dick in male ass tricks to cause you to go gay for them and eveyr other fucking dipshit with a fo hawk so just don't fucking do it. I almost feel like an unhetero for even reviewing this CD but luckily I put my HUGE COCK in so many TIGHT PUSSIES that I couldn't go gay even if I wanted to.

Which I don't.

Ever.

In my life.

So moving right along I guess since I've accuritly and unbyeassedly reflected on the positives (nothing) and negatives (gay ass shit) of this CD I can give it a final score.





















































/10

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