So this is Best Coast's first album I guess. I'm assuming they're from California (meaning that if I'm right, they are extremely predictable and if I'm wrong they are terrible for trying to sound like they're from California. I guess my point is that California fucking sucks).
My first thought is: Woman Beach Boys. There are many things wrong with that. I'm not going to say that women shouldn't be making music- some of them are okay at it. That's not my problem. My problem is that they're trying to sound like some Beach Boys shit. Would that make them The Beach Girls? Because that would be fucking STUPID.
My second thought: Woman Beach Boys in a cave. This is the most retarded reverb I have ever heard in my entire life. I feel like I'm in one of those big bathrooms at a beach, shitting, with this band playing a hundred yards away, and it's echoing all over the place in the bathroom to the point where it's this giant clusterfuck of sound. Shoegaze surf rock? Fuck this.
It's also worth noting that the entire album concluded in the time it took me to write those 3 paragraphs. This album is like 15 minutes long goddamn. I barely even remember anything about it other than it opening with a real echoey cover of that Avril Lavigne song that came out a couple years ago. Also, 2 songs rhyme "crazy" with "lazy." Whether this is intentional or not I have yet to determine.
Bottom line is: for a similar (if slightly better) experience, try listening to a Beach Boys album with the pitch shifted up, using one of those soundcard control fuckers that lets you make everything sound like it's being played inside a drippy cave.
Final score:
5.1/10
Hello, Im posting this here because its your most recent post Mr. Clarke, I just want you to know that your music reviews are extremely moronic and selfish. You seem to know so much about music yet you never state Objectively why the music is bad, you just ramble on about your own Subjective crap and "making fun" of the art rather than actually giving the music a chance to bring you into its world and actually attempt to analyze the lyrics. I realize that you may be simply stating your opinion but when your opinion is laced in ignorance and comments about tits and fags....it aids no ones thinking. The artists you love to trash work fucking hard to perform these songs and from your reviews I get the feeling that you're a cynical, depressed fuck. And that's okay, we all are, thats why people make music. But flaunting your arogance has led to this blog failing. Hopefully in a few years you look back on this dark period of your life and see how much of an asshole you are. Im only trying to save your soul my friend, STOP looking down on so many of your fellow human beings and learn to critque their work objectively and in the context of the genre, not in the context of "Im a fucking nobody, fuck the people actually doing something interesting with their lives". We only live once my friend, enjoy it while it fucking lasts.
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