Buncen Bern Interview

I'm gonna say what nobody else has the guts to say: Aspie Lispen was talentless. "How could you?" is the sort of response I expect from this. But really, think about it. Aspie never pushed himself in any direction other than twee, was horrible at singing, wasn't especially talented at any instrument, and was just overall a terrible musician. Why Cameron Clarke is so obsessed with this mans work is beyond me, but I'll tell you something else: Buncen Bern and Ricky Martini were the real brains behind Tall Building. Sure, the songs Aspie wrote for the albums are catchy, but which ones will we REALLY remember in ten, twenty years? CD Players, Escape, Scurvy, Alien Abduction, Bunny Rabbits. Can you even remember the melody to My Cat Ran Away? I'm serious, try to hum it. I'll bet you can't. That's because there was nothing original or interesting about it.

Cameron Clarke recently posted an article about his trip to the Lispen household. He mentioned trying to get ahold of Ricky Martini and Buncen Bern, but he never did. Do you think there's a possibility that he didn't want to hear what these men had to say about the whole matter? I do. Cameron Clarke is completely obsessed. It's not even about the music anymore, he's built a false image of how Lispen was inside his mind and he will ignore anybody who points this out. Gertrude Lispen was obviously a lonely old woman, willing to take advantage of Clarkes' obsession for a nice fucking. Yes, Clarke only told half of the story. Actually you couldn't even say that, it was too fucked up. He made no attempt to interview the other living members of Tall Building, so you know what?

I will.

Included with the physical copies of For the Love of God Please Listen to This Album (handmade by Bern himself) is a booklet containing images of Buncen Bern in a Chester Cheetah costume, some paintings made by his college girlfriend, a lock of his hair, and some contact information. I sent him an email, asking him to meet up with me for an interview. He liked the idea. We met at the bluebird cafe on one cloudy day to discuss matters Tall Building and post-Tall Building.

CMFCG: First, I'd like to thank you for taking the time to do this interview.

BB: It's my fantasy.

CMFCG: Let's talk about For the Love of God. After faking your own death, did you immediately start work on this one?

BB: No, I was too depressed to create for a while there. Feeling my musical career was over right then and there, I actually considered real death a few times. I got so down I visited old Gertrude
Lispen one night, knowing she would fuck anybody.

CMFCG: Did you fuck?

BB: Yes. Anyways, about a month or so after I faked my death I got myself together and began making trips to the studio. I was still really hooked on drugs though, so I didn't get much done at first. I sobered up a little and began writing my best songs to date. Oh the Memories Pt. 2 is sort of about the pain I went through while overcoming my drug addiction.

CMFCG: Really?

BB: Well it was written while I was getting off them.

CMFCG: I see. Are all the songs on the album autobiographical?

BB: Yes, my great grand-pappy Ronald D. Bern marched out of the hospital he was staying in to promote gay awareness. A giant crowd formed and people marched with him and for that whole year, you could do whatever you wanted sexually. Then everybody returned to normal life and became homophobes again.

CMFCG: How come I've never read about this anywhere?

BB: I don't know.

CMFCG: What do you have to say about the death of Aspie Lispen?

BB: I was only friends with him so I could be around his hot, hot mother.

And that's all we have for now. You needed to hear the truth behind it all, and I'm glad you did. Check out Buncen Berns new album here: http://buncenbern.bandcamp.com/album/for-the-love-of-god-listen-to-this-album