Evelyn Evelyn - Evelyn Evelyn

Evelyn Evelyn is the debut album from a band called Evelyn Evelyn. What an original fucking title, right? Not only do they name their band after their names, but they named their album after their band named after their name.

I'm not gonna lie here folks, this is pretty much the soundtrack to a shitty new Tim Burton movie (not Nightmare Before Christmas shit, think the Corpse Bride).

You know what the gayest thing about this album is though? Not the spoken word interludes, even though those are gay as fuck. No, it's the fact that the clearly male singers are both named Evelyn. I bet that shit's not even their real names. They were probably John and Steve or some shit, and had their names changed to Evelyn to live out their tranny mallgoth fantasies. Sick shit.

"Have You Seen My Sister Evelyn" is supposed to be one of those tin pan alley vaudeville fuckin songs like what Tiny Tim did or some shit. Just unlike Tiny Tim, these shemales seem like they're trying to attract the Hot Topic-shopping, Sweeney Todd-loving crowd by attempting to make this shit dark and edgy.

"Chicken Man" is probably the only good song on the album. That's really just because the lyrics are real good. Here are the lyrics

Chicken man, chicken man
lalalalal
chicken man, chicken man
lalalala

There's a bunch of spoken word bullshit. I'm assuming that's because it's supposed to have a plot, making this a concept album. And what are concept albums? That's right, GAY. Not only is it gay, but it's fucking boring. If I wanted to listen to a book on tape I'd listen to a goddamn book on tape.

Looking at Windows Media Player, I see that this particular spoken word track, "The Tragic Events Pt. II" is 11 minutes long. No thank you, that is quite enough of this nonsense.

Final score:
2/10