Sunday, April 18, 2010

KFC - Double Down



To-day I will be doing something in-o-vative and in-spire-ing the likes of which you faygs haven't seen since Apple released the iPad. (There's my relevant, unoriginal joke for the day.) Instead of reviewing cool music for cool guys or unhetero music for unhetero guys, I am going to be reviewing something different entirely. A sandwich.

There has been a lot of controversy over this particular sandwich (called the "Double Down) probably because it sounds like a gay sex move involving three men. In one camp, you have the fucking PETA retards who hate anything good and spread propaganda about fast food saying shit like "It's bad for you" and "Don't eat cats and dogs." Let me ask you this you fucking PETA retards, if I spend a large chunk of my precious fucking time waiting on a WHITE WOMAN to fix my fucking dinner, aren't I retro-actively killing myself the same as if I just ate fast food, only in a different fashion? (Think hipster vs. goth.)

On the other side of this coin are black people, who FUCKING LOVE anything and everything fried chicken. While I wholeheartedly reccommend this sandwich (despite gay sex move name) to white people, black people need to stay way from it at all costs. It tastes pretty good if you're white, so if you're black this sandwich will probably react like fucking crack in your system and you won't be able to stop eating them.

Anyway on to the sandwich.

Basically it's two fucking pieces of fried chicken and some OTHER SHIT I don't care about because I love Fried Chicken. Eating this is like having sex with a woman who is all tits and ass, WHILE WATCHING THE SUPER BOWL. In fact, I would reccommend buying two of these bad boys, stacking them on top of each other and chowing down, just so you'll know what it's like to fuck two women and watch Superbowl 30 and 32 at the same motherfucking time holy shit I just creamed my Rocawear's.

Now if you're worried about negative health effects from eating this then DON'T BE. I found out that this sandwich actually has this cool thing where the more you eat the more weight you lose.
Just try eating seven of these bad boys and you'll puke more than you did the first time you performed a keg stand (probably lose about 20 pounds, see bulimia) I mean shit I'm selling this sandwich so hard KFC should put me in a commercial.

The only real downside is it gives me a headache, but fuck I get hammered every weekend and never bitch about a hang over, so who fuckin' cares?!

FINAL SCORE:


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