John Maus - We Must Become the Pitiless Censors of Ourselves

John Mouse is a lofi supergroup lead by none other than the godfather of chillwave himself, Ariel Pink. The first thing I noticed about this album was the album art. Where did the pink sparkles go? That was one of my favorite things about the group. Here are the covers to the last two albums.

Now here is where I talk about the music. That's the most important part, right? The lead single off this album, "Rights for Gays" talks about how gay people aren't so bad and that they deserve the same respect as you and I (assuming all the readers of this blog are hetero males). I mean, I don't mind gay people or anything, but I don't like thinking about them or talking about them. Like, how do they have sex? I'm gonna stop thinking about it ahaha. (I realize I was just saying how much I loved pink sparkles, I assure you that I am very straight, no need to doubt it)

Okay, now that we've talked about that song we can move on to the rest of the album. There's this song called Head For the Country. It has lots of eighties synths and Ariel's deep voice crooning over it. Now that I think about it, this entire album has a lot of eighties synths! I think it's sort of chillwave.

After listening to it a little more, yep it's definitely chillwave. Sort of gives you a new perspective on the music. I think the vocals get swallowed up by the synths too much, but that's what you get with a chillwave album. This band has a knack for pushing pop music to the EXTREME. This is as intense as it gets, folks.

5/5 stars, I give this album the official Cool Music For Cool Guys "Cool New Music" Stamp of Approval. While I'm sure lots of lame guys are listening to this album and attending the shows, I think there is room for cool guys too!

Tyler, the Creator - GOBLIN

I used to like Tyler, the Creator. I did. However, I must say, things have changed. What, you ask? What has happened to my beloved devotion to the excellent hip hop music of Tyler, and OFWGKTADGAFLLBBLSBFBN? It has stifled. Its gene pool has thinned, it's lost all interest.

Let me explain, you see, back in 2010, when I first downloaded Bastard and listened to it, I was amazed. It was a masterpiece of ingenuity, truly what hip hop needed. Tyler's discussion of such serious topics as his father he never had, his relationship with women, it was all surreal. It was the future of hip hop. It was the future of life.

This album? This album is a putrid mess. This album is a disgusting, filthy bile all over my new Chuck Taylors. Why? Let me tell you.

Tyler, the Creator has transformed. No longer can he discuss such serious topics that he did in Bastard, he can now only discuss the simple things he once put such great art into. Raping women, doing hard drugs, killing loads of people. Fucking school. It's lame, gentle, lost to all senses. Where is the strong emotion once put into it? It's gone. This is an album made only for its shock value.

And you can tell, from the start, Tyler made this album with one large intention: make money. When I first put the CD into the player and sat back, prepared for another amazing album, my ears were automatically assaulted by the horror of the title track. Goblin is a soulless attempt at pop-rap, it's made to draw in the little teenagers craving new hot beats. The album only gets worse from there, too. Continually, over and over again, each track invites me into a new horror of modern rap.

Tyler's rancid use of sexism, homophobia and obscene language lend nothing to the imagination. There is nothing "fun" in here, this is just a demented walk through a man who already at the age of 20 has sold his life away to make money. What happened to the days of old, of The Chronic, in which sexism and homophobia was creative, tactful and pleasurable?

My point here? This is an insult. To me. To you. To all of us. If you own this album, flush it down your toilet, or even your neighbors toilet. This is an example of how stale art can get in the 21st century.

My rating: Don't ever fucking listen to this shit.