Bowerbirds - Upper Air

Okay so Upper Air is the second album by the Bowerybirds. They're from North Carolina or some other bullshit Carolina I think. Who cares.

First of all, the coolest thing about this album is the cover art. And even that is a generic ass picture taken from the window of a plane flying over some fucking clouds. I bet the Bowerybirds (who are hipster as fuck) thought "WHOA LOOK AT THIS NATURE PICTURE IT WOULD BE A GREAT ALBUMS COVER WE'LL BE SO HIP" well guess what, motherfuckers? It's not hip. It's gay, and you're a queer for thinking it's cool.

The music itself is your usual hipster garbage. Terrible recording quality, OMgEXoTic instruments like accordions and some guy mumbling and yelling while banging on his acoustic guitar. I get it dude, you're indie. Happy now, indie man? I bet you fucking are you asshole.

Oh yeah, there's a chick singer too. Her name is "Beth Tacular" (fake hipster name), and she is the worst female vocalist I have heard since that bitch from the Sonic Youths or whatever. Tone-deaf and squeaky. Gross.

Also, their lyrics are dumb hippie shit. "DON'T HURT NATURE AND EAT ANIMALS"- direct quote from one of the songs. I don't know which one, but believe me, I'm telling the truth. Their lyrics are really that goddamn dumb and preachy. I bet they don't really even care about nature. They're just pretending to for indie cred. Despicable.

Overall, this album is really bad, but you'll probably like it if you blindly enjoy everything certain hipster indie guy blogs that rhyme with bitchcork tell you to.

Final score:
2.5/10

Even Ecks Outrage - The Moon Strikes Back Before 2012

O-kay today your B-Boy ERIN E-SURANCE is taking on a very controverisial album by the band Uncle Oddrage or something like that. The band is helmed by my friend Nils Rasmussen (he likes to be called Ed during sexual intercourse) and they have been pretty good so far but this new album takes things into a whole new world, a dazzling place I never knew. But when you're way up here it's crystal clear that all is not right in Uncle Xrage ville.

Now I will be the first person to tell you this, the Casadilla Album by Even U Odd is one of my favoritest CDs to date with tracks like Superbowl that talk about how you're gay if you don't like the superbowl and the song Astronaught which is about being the most pro professional ever. I mean it's just a catchy CD with the most minimal amount of unhetero material. Quite a lot of bang for you bucks if you put it on for some doe if you feel me bro.

So anyway it is surprised me to find out that Nils (Or Ed) decided to make his music a lot more shitty and generic in this endealor than in previous works such as The Early Yeast. Basically he took at all the cool FX like Nine Inch Nails had and replaced them with PENIS. Basically it is like if Mindless Self Indulgence (gays) and Blink 182 (old washed up gays) made a CD together and decided to call it "SHIT NOBODY WANTS TO LISTEN PART 2: THE MOON LIKES BLACKS." To be honest there is nothing wrong with black people unless they like this CD because liking this CD means you are a failure of a man. The only person who really lieks it is Nils/Ed/Todd/Whateverhtefuckhisnameis, and even he doesn't like it too much. I mean, that dummy is giving it away for free! Really, it's so bad he has to give it away because no one would pay for it because you might as well pay for a razorblade to cut your dick off with before you drop 50 bones on this horrible garbage.

But since the CD is free and I like free things I will now be giving it a 10.

PSYCHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

So Bad You Should Have Paid ME To Listen To It/10


UNCLE OUTRAGE'S SHITTY MYSPACE!

A BETTER BAND ED IS IN!

Weezer - Raditude

Okay, so this is the first Weezer album I've listened to. I'm not gonna bother telling you who they are, since apparently fucking everyone knows who they are and listens the shit out of their albums except me.

First of all, the album cover and title are both amazing and probably the only reason why I decided to listen to this. Probably a good call, because this album is awesome.

Actually, I didn't listen to the album at all (apparently they stopped streaming the whole thing on their MySpace page), but I am going to rate this album based on the album cover and album title alone, which is

Final score:
10/10