Rammstein - Liebe Ist Für Alle Da

So it's been a couple years since Rammstein blessed us with their last full-length album, Rosenrot (the highlight of which being a song in fucking Mexican, but that was basically an album of b-sides so fuck you). If you expected them to get shittier or something, well, nah.

If you heard the "Pussy" single (with its amazing video) that was released last month, you'd know that this album was going to be fucking ca$h as all hell.

It opens with "Rammlied" which I guess is a kind of alright song, but it works well as an opener, pretty much telling you what the fuck to expect. BIG GUITARS, TILL SINGING ALL DEEP LIKE HE'S TRYING TO SOUND LIKE HIMSELF BACK IN '98 OR SOME SHIT, GERMAN LYRICS ABOUT BUTT RAPE etc., etc.

That's pretty much the album right there, though there are a couple parts that really stick out, like "Früling In Paris", which is nice as fuck (think "Seeman" or "Ohne Dich" type shit), and "Pussy" which is still the best song ever.

"Roter Sand", the last song on the album is pretty nice too, but most Rammstein album enders are nice, so that's kind of a given. I could do without the fucking 98989 alternate variations of it in the bonus tracks, but whatever.

Overall, fuck yes, this album rules.

Final score:
9.2/10

PS. If you are wondering why I actually kind of (half-assed) reviewed this album instead of, you know, just kind of talking about Nazis and German shephards and shit, uh, you know. Probably has something to do with sleep deprevigiationvcv.

Also Rammstein is srs business guys.

Dead Man's Bones - Dead Man's Bones

Okay so first off, Dead Man's Bones is a band that consists of two shitty actors no one has ever heard of before. I've read a few internet articles about them and they're all "holy shit, listen to this band, the band members are actors who were in a couple movies that were in select theaters for a full weekend a piece and also a children's choir! How wacky!"

So I guess these actors decided "let's make a fucking Halloween album because our other completely original idea, doing a Christmas album, was stolen by Bob Dylan!" A Halloween album is exactly what this is, and a boring one at that. I guess it's supposed to be creepy or some shit, but it's not. I'm not scared of the Haunted Mansion Disney ride (I AM scared of the shitty Eddie Murphy movie based on the ride, but for completely different reasons). Are you? Exactly. It would take a real pussy to be scared of this music, and I am no pussy. You might be a pussy, but I am not a pussy, okay? Okay. Fuck.

What about the actual music and songwriting? Well, it's kind of shitty. I mean, it sounds like some gay Nightmare Before Christmas shit. What are we, Hot Topic-shopping mallgoths? Fuck no, we're cool guys who buy our clothes and music from Wal-Mart like every other real American hero. This is not music for real American heroes, this is music for traitors to our country. The singer even sounds like a brit (which is never good).

Overall, it is boring and for goth kids, but some of it is kind of nice if you're listening to it on Halloween maybe.

Final score:
3/10

Note: the score would have been 4/10, but there is that children's choir thing, and children are lame and no one likes them.

AFI - Crash Love

O-kay sorry it has been forever since I reviewed I have been busy getting laid doing drugs and just generally being more badass than you but o-kay today I am reviewing a CD and well there's a surprise ending with this one let me tell you this is the most reactions a CD has got out of me in a while.

Let me just say as I listened to such timeless hits as Torch Song, Beautiful Thieves, and End Transmission I thought wow this might be the best CD of all year maybe of the last year and a half even so like yeah it's a great CD. Listen to it and you will be shocked by how genuwinely good it is but there is one little problem.

After I finished (that's wut she siad lol) I decided to go and google image search these musical geniuses (AFI? what does that even stand for?) and then guess what I am met with?

A huge collection of pictures of guys that are total fagets I mean good god how cna your music be so good but you can look so gay? I feel like I've been living a lie or something I mean fuck it, I don't like this band, they are faygs and you never heard me I say I liekd them.

Since these guys are obviously unhetero commies I must dock most of their points, musically the CD has a lot of good stuff singing guitars and maybe even drums I am too shocked right now to remember.

One of the memebrs even has some gay Elvis haircut like come on dude maybe in the 1920s lol. I am not gonna bother linking a picture because I would probably get arrested for linking that obamanation on such a high class website as blogspot.

FINAL SCORE:

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-/10